I look at where I've grown up and the things I've seen. I can't even count how many things I've learned just in one week of living my life. I wonder if people pay attention to lessons as much as I do?
My life is going completely smooth. I know the path I'm taking and I know where I'm going. These words will give me the life I want. I know I'll make them better, and I'll dress them up with pretty clothes and jewelry and they'll sparkle under your own personal reading light. Your voice will make them sound sweet and bitter but I'll love every moment of it.
Lately I'll take a quick look at my future. I really don't like to do this but I realize if you look at more it'll become easier to face when you get there. Well at least that's my theory. I realize people will be gone at certain points and I'll meet new people. I wish I kept in touch with the people I met during the summer. I'll meet a college friend and maybe we'll fall in love and maybe we'll be the best of friends and maybe we'll hate each other in a couple of years. It's quite strange to think that there are so many possibilities for tomorrow. You can meet me and you can meet him and you can meet her and you can meet them. It'll all keep you so close that you'll feel the need to keep returning to it every single day. I like this spontaneous sense of my life. I wish high school was more along these lines but I guess we can't have everything right?
My magazine is flourishing. With the help of my best friend I wouldn't have gotten anywhere but his intelligence and sort of knack for being social helped me alot. He's so easy to get along with that, that's why I think many people like him. Anyway, on another note. We are finally done with our first issue and we're going to finally mail them out. It seems like such a fairy tale to come up with some crazy but magnificent idea and then all at once it's real. It's your everyday life. We organize our stories and our interviews. We listen to bands to see if they're good or not. We argue countless times because making decisions to suit the public is hard and then we give up for those first few awkward moments. And then we're right back to working. I like this feeling and I hope that once my career starts off after college I'll be making money off of my talents and ideas. Even if me and my best friend aren't super close anymore I know we will try and make things work for the sake of this amazing dream come true. Or at least I hope it will. Friends work things out and him being my friend for two years solves everything.
And then I like to take a look at my past. i make fun of the things i wore, said, and did. I laugh hard at the people I actually let myself deal with. But i never laugh at the lessons I learn. It all serves as a great purpose in the end I guess. My ex boyfriend is now a good friend after a long battle. And i think this being so has gotten me through alot. Being friends with someone you used to care deeply about makes everything so much clearer. Even if you aren't friends you can still move on and still find love but you will always have unanswered questions and personally, I like to know the answer to everything. Being this close to seeing what i have and what i had makes me think clearer and makes me think the right way. All of it just seems so nice and yes there will be hard stuff later but i'm sure even from a high school mishap, I'll learn and learn every day.
So let this be the end of another day. Well, at least until I explain what I feel again.
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