I think I'm becoming this person that I had never thought of becoming. I was so young and thoughts about the future only had to do with past loves and secret lives of hidden fantasies. It's so rare that I think about what I have thought about myself before. i do think about the past quite often but there are certain things that I leave out because of the way I think about them. It never turns out great.

I don't have a problem with who I've become. I'm well rounded and I find myself rather intriguing at times. It's weird. I have never had so much confidence in myself before. Where did it come from? you? the lady across the street? the guy at the grocery store who couldn't keep his eyes away? I'm not sure but I'm glad it's here.

I don't find myself writing about the same things anymore.

I would write about fantasies that I had, not ones that would have to do with anything sexual and such, but fantasies of different lives that I would live under the same name and face. Nothing would be different except for my experiences and I would obtain the same knowledge. But if i had different experiences wouldn't that raise the question "how could you have the same knowledge with new things to learn from?" touche. But this is not the case anymore. Time has transformed me into this person that likes to elaborate on the way she views things. My mind never shuts off. I can't sleep yesterday, I can't sleep last month. I know I am talking wrong but this is due to the fact that I am trying to observe the natural tendencies due to lack of sleep. My mind never shuts off. He says its cool because that means I'm never boring. But when will I ever become natural. Am I natural in my busy state? Or am I just the same as everyone else. You find yourself having the same thoughts and manners as the one next to you even if you could never see yourself having anything in common with them.




It's all coming out of me like the color from a full blossoming flower. Why haven't I observed and taken notes like I once used to? I used to roam around the streets, halls, buildings, statues, and write what I saw and made them into challenging poems with little advertisements to make you keep on reading what I had to say.


I'm going on.