reality hooks onto my brain. it seems as though it will fill every crevice with the daring truth and it will break all the honesty i have left in me. i'm laying here listening to stars and resting my head on my pillow at 12:20 in the morning.


i lay here thinking about everything i have at this exact moment. it'll all go away some day. why have i thought so much about this? i'm crying now.
my room will no longer be my room. my home will no longer be my home. bills will flood my mail box and my life will be spent trying to find a man to accompany me to the grooves of the rest of my life. all of these silly relationships wont mean much when we get to the real world. i find myself losing sight of the relationship i'm in because im looking too far into the future. i'm constantly saying, "why keep doing this when you wont be the one for me in the future?"
why have i become so negative? it's not negativity, its reality.
i'll have to start my career as soon as i start school. i have to find my life's path. my own house. my own couch. my own bed. my own pet to keep me warm at night.
my husband will know im independent and he will be happy that i am everything that i am. why does being young have to be so easy?
i think too much for my own good.
stop dreaming allyson.
im only looking into the reality of my life.