It was a perfectly still day. We were in the city and you said you had somewhere to go. I begged you not to leave because your presence is what kept me happy and it kept my mind elsewhere, but there were things you needed to do.

I followed you down the stairs as you held my hand and you said you would be back in a couple of hours. You said you would bring me home a present because you knew how much I loved small surprises. I was so excited that I finally said, "okay but ill be waiting here for you! I WONT GO ANYWHERE! HURRY!" and you kissed my forehead and got into the car. I waved goodbye as the car drove you down the street and you were out of my sight.

I woke up still waiting and it was dark outside. The room was very quiet. No appliances were left on and I was cold, very cold. I searched and searched for my phone hoping that you had left me a text saying that you were on your way home and that you couldn't wait to see me. As soon as I found my phone, I saw that the light was blinking, indicating that I had a text message or a missed call. I saw at least 5 text messages and 15 missed calls. I smiled a little hoping they were all from you, worried that I hadn't answered your texts but I was going to reply with, "I'm sorry babe, I fell asleep!" I saw you had only left me one text message and the rest were from my parents and my friends. I opened yours first because I thought yours was going to be the one that filled my heart and it did. It read, "Babe, I miss you already. I've only left you about 10 minutes ago but it's going to be great to be in your arms again." I smiled and hugged my pillow because that's how excited I was for you to come home but I realized that it was very late and it had been more than just a couple of hours. I read the other texts and they all said, "Allyson, I'm so sorry!! are you okay? call me as soon as you get this!!" or some variation of those words and phrases. I didn't understand. I looked at the missed calls and they were from unknown numbers and my mom. I called my mom first and she yelled when i picked up: "YOU WEREN'T IN THE CAR!??!?!?! OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...IM SO GLAD YOURE ALIVE IM SO GLAD THAT YOURE STILL HERE WITH ME. IM SORRY BABY IM SO SORRY...." I didn't understand why she kept saying sorry or what in the world she was talking about so I calmly asked what happened. She seemed to stop all at once and whispered that she had hoped she wouldn't be the one to tell me this..."Jesse...he got in a car accident on the way to his friends house. He's dead now Allyson..." I opened my mouth and I tried to push words out. I tried to even scream and it didnt work. I hung up the phone and calmly and slowly went back to the couch. I was lost just like I told him I would be if he wasn't there with me.

I went to our room and took out his sweater and put it on. I layed down on the bed and fell asleep.















How does it feel to be awake now?