new orleans' nights

louis armstrong plays while i sit and wait in the heat. waiting for something to happen. waiting for my life to start. oh wait, it has started. but he always knows how to make the moment move, move along with every stride i take and every move i make. the jazz fills the air and im one with him. i am sitting in carnegie hall tapping my foot and sipping on champaign. My hair is pinned up into full curls and im wearing a beautiful gown, when a young dark hair man steps up to me and asks me for a simple dance. I accept. The night is smoothly sought through while louis keeps on playing.

imagination takes me a great distance.


this day seems to go on endlessly. i see things i dont wanna see and on comes the feelings of doubt.

doubt.



allyson, you need to open up more. Your not where you used to be.


i know but how can i not? how can i let myself be who i want to be when the people i loved hated it.


so louis keeps on playing and my mind wanders the street of my future. i see buildings made of goals, i see parks filled with ambition, i see markets selling experiences in places that are far away from here. I only see this because I am dreaming. Dreams can be thrilling and dreams can be frightening. I am frightened of my dreams, because I never know when they'll come true and when they fall to the bottom of the barrel.


louis plays the music of my heart. he plays the music of my state of being at this exact moment. I only hear what i want to hear and it is his trumpet playing in the middle of a dark club. where murmurs of sin and murmurs of love float around. smoke is flowing through everyones body. drinks are spilled and consumed in numerous amounts. he plays and i hum the rhythm. i close my eyes and i am there participating in the activities in the club, but to know I am not alone gives me comfort. I am now happy with who i am, and where I will be.


oh louis, you are one in a million.