the phone is always dead to me

I'm sitting here trying to pretend like I'm okay.


I wanted to stop lying to you and telling you that everything was okay. I don't regret letting you know my insecurities but when I sit by myself and think about things I wonder if maybe saying a couple of words would ruin everything.


I've stopped being the girl who cries whenever a decision is made that I don't like.
I don't keep quiet anymore. I don't feel the need to keep my mouth shut.
I'm stronger and I've learned my lesson.
If I feel uncomfortable about something you ask politely and you make sure that in the end of the conversation I feel like I'm right at home.




Being best friends worked. It worked so well.

I'm being so vague and I know you read through it all. I know you know I'm talking about you. You don't even have to hear me say it. You can read my expressions through a simple "oh" or a "yeah okay". It really is amazing.



I try to think maybe it's just because you're a really great guy, and we'd both agree that nice guys always finish last. But this time around I know it's because you know me so well.




"does he ever get the girl?"
"i got her here with me right now"




As fucken cheesy as we are it's pretty funny.

"wow we're so hesh babe. too punk. totally the best indie couple ever."
"ew shut the fuck up youre disgusting."


That's who we are normally and I know I wouldn't change it for anything.


But then I think if the tables were turned would it be different. Would you have the same insecurities? Would you tell me that you felt weird inside? What would you say?

I'd hope you'd say something.

I dont want to explain because I know I have trust in you. A deep trust that goes beyond being my boyfriend. It's a trust that comes with being my best friend.


let me tell you about my bessstt frieeenndd...




FUCK OFF! YOU PAN!