Please listen. This is what is setting my reconnection mood right now. Please find me under these layers of notes, chords, rhythms, beats, and everything you could imagine. Find all of the emotion and love me with it.
I feel like I've been gone for so long. My name should not be Allyson. It should change. It should've changed to someone else's name and kept my real one in a locker for the old me to return and pick up her books. Here, right now, with these sounds playing in my ears, with these words being written, I just opened the locker. The locker is now ajar. The locker is now apart of me and it has disappeared to the layers deep down in my soul. Welcome back. I always say I'm back and I lie. I know I'm lying. I never used to lie. I would lie but there would be heart behind it. Now I lie too much for my own good. But, I promise you that I am hear. Hello Allyson Marie Martinez. I just smiled as I wrote that. I feel whole. I feel like this empty puzzle piece, the blue piece that looks like all the others, it drives you mad because it can fit in two areas, well that piece, has been put back into it's place.
Picture that field of flowers once again. Picture it with a girl named "esmeralda" well that is who i've become. Get to know her. She is there. But she is now gone. She wanted to obtain her own body, mind and soul. She has welcomed Allyson in with open arms.
This weight has been lifted. Calm me. Kiss me. Hug me. This is who we are in the family tree.
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