Hi, I'm back.

I want you to feel the way I feel. You've been out every single night for the past week and a half. I almost feel like you can't stand being near me and talking to me, so you find other ways to possibly get away from me. I feel like you lie and say that you're going to sleep, so that you know for a fact that I won't text you.

Part of me is so hurt. I want a life where it doesn't seem like I'm waiting for you every single night. I want to be out and make friends and do my own thing and stop acting like i need your permission to hang out with someone. You constantly make me feel guilty with: "I thought you weren't like those other girls..." or "That's why I liked you, because you didn't complain like those others..." and it gets me to shut up because I don't want to ruin anything. I have to constantly hide my feelings about things because you act like everything I feel about you doing something that I don't like, is completely ridiculous and stupid. So I shut my mouth and act like I'm happy, but inside I'm dying to get out and I'm dying to just be the "dumb girl" you never wanted. You tell me that I can't do certain things or go certain places because I'm a girl, but you can do them because it's different for you. You talk about girls constantly with your friends and I don't mind but I know that when someone passes you by and gets your attention, you will definitely tell them all what a babe she is and how you'd marry her. That hurts my feelings so much because I could never look at a guy and think that way. Most of the time I just say someone's a babe because I know that it makes you feel uncomfortable. I have never seen someone that has made my heart drop so much that I'd have to run to my friends and say, "LOOK AT THAT BABE! MAN ID MARRY HIM IN A HEART BEAT." No, because I only feel that way about you.

things are changing so fast...

you're changing the rules for you and then changing them for me.