Pillows stuffed in front of my face,

blankets bundled up in front of you as lie on your side.

we're not facing each other.

we're not speaking.

we knew it would happen because that's just how it goes.

the sun is peering out of the half closed shades.

your eyes are closed but I know you're thinking about me.

I'm thinking about you.

You turn over to see my back facing you.

you kiss my shoulder.

i flinch.

i flinch.

i breathe.

i open my eyes.

i want you to do it again.

but i know when you do it, it doesnt mean the same thing.

you turn back over and close your eyes.

i mouth your name hoping that you hear my breath spell it out.

you don't turn back over.

you don't want to look at me because you know what it will do to me.

you can't bring yourself to say it.

you don't want to put me through it.

rip off the band-aid.

just do it.

now you're gone.