I sit here with only one thought in mind: You are the open door to a new life. I come here with an open mind and closed hands. My words forever stuck in a worm hole, filled with exclamation marks and periods. I call every day to see if the sun has awaken you, but it always fails. My dreams are sending small signals to the outside world to let them know I am here and I will never leave. I promised. The cars drive by honking and honking, and I lay here on my bed, drinking a glass of water, wishing that these noises could be captured into a small box and be put away for safe keeping. I am no longer alone in this tree house, looking at the birds, singing with them, the song of life and carnivals. I like to have fun too. I will never forget the days where you spelled out forever. But, I will always forget the days where I sat here with nothing in my mind but a broken down machine looking for something to replenish, something to create. I wonder when these feelings will go away. I'll never know. You say knowledge always hurts the best and I say it makes the best stronger. That is why we are the best. We can take what the weak can't. We can see what other's cant see. We will always be ahead of the game. One step above the other. Living the life we dreamed we'd always have. The phone is ringing and my heart beats faster and faster wondering when I'll get the message that you have fallen asleep for good. Such morbid fantasies. I'm tired of these long, hot, dreamless days. I'm searching for a new me. A new profile. Give me blonde hair and green eyes. I'll create a new story. A new world. I'll be the opposite of what I once was. My books are filled with ideas, and adventures. I write like if I am one of them. One of my favorites but I will never be that good. I will never have the talent that they have, the talent that I crave. You silly child, find your career, or you'll end up to be nothing. So i sit in the rain and think about all the words I must write to get me somewhere. To get me into a shelter, with food, and clothing. I think about the thoughts and ideas that will keep me from stealing and ending up where the "normal" aren't ought to be. Who can call me normal? Who can say I will be amongst you? I'm writing of thoughts and nothing but thoughts. Normality is far from my world and I appreciate its presence when it is necessary. In my life nothing is necessary. Therefore, presence you are no longer welcome. The rainbow glistens and the children play with no worries. I watch. I smile. Time machines could set me back to this time in my life. Running under sprinklers. Playing house. Riding bikes. Technology has ruined me. It has created me. Has it created these words? Who knows? but it helps me breathe. I am no longer paranoid of the outside world. I am one with everything around me. Mother nature, greetings! So i will say hello and goodbye, and wave only to the most important people of my life. But i will be happy in my mind. Because I know that you have read these words. You have read every single thought running and flowing through my mind at this single moment. I will be greatful and reward you with all that i can give, for taking your time to read this. And for now, until next time.
Tschüss.
No comments:
Post a Comment