Young baby

I watched him closely as he played with his hands creating tiny toy guns out of them. I smile as he makes small voices imitating the soldiers on his video games.

"run soldier run! Shoot! Hurry men we dont have alot of time! Ahhhhhhh!"

This little boy is my last connection to innocence. He is all i have to lead me to the world where all seriousness is gone. Politics. Economic issues. School. All of it, gone. I sit in the back of the car still watching him aim at street lamps naming them the "bad guys." i cant help but smile because noone notices his enthusiasm like i do. I see through that tiny little body of his a man thats going to be something great. My eyes get teary. He doesnt complain about anything. He has his imagination and off he goes. Sometimes he likes to take me on the journey to the world of innocence with him but lately ive been just too busy or too tired. But this never bothers him. He doesnt feel the weight of being pushed to the side. He's six, and hes got a whole long ways to go. As we pull up to the house i catch him whispering, "daddy, do you think i can push the pedal to make the car go?" my dad laughs, "get the hell out of my car you crazy guy!" and he waits for me while i comr around the car to open his door. He takes my hand and prepares for a big leap to the ground. Looks at me, smiles. Jumps! We laugh and i feel the warmth in my heart that noone could ever recreate. He is me and i am him. I stand on the stairs remembering a time at an old family party, and it brings tears to my eyes...

I was sitting in my cousins room and walked outside briefly to reach for a drink when i hear my mom say, "allyson your brother is looking for you!!" so i see him running looking lost and confused like i was the keyholder to the gateway home. "ally i was looking for you!" i tell him i havent gone anywhere that ive been here the whole time. He looks at me. I see nothing but sadness and loneliness. "why were you hiding from me ally? I was calling you." i take a deep look at him. I kneel down and take both his hands. "i would never leave you or hide from you ok?" and he smiles, kisses me and runs off to play.


I regain conciousness. I feel lost without him by my side. I run up the stairs to tell him i love him. "love you too ally." and i know as long as i have him with me every single day nothing will be bad. Nothing will ever hurt me.

So i will watch him grow up and leave me here alone but i'll know that whenever he tries looking for me again, ill be there.